Happy New Year!

As a junker, you can probably understand why one of my favorites Bible verses is:

2 Corinthians 5:17 ~~  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has gone, the new has come.

There's something so exciting about tossing out the old, and starting fresh again! 

And so here I am on New Year's Eve -- preparing to toss out another year and start fresh again.  It was a good year filled with some struggles, but mostly many blessings, including my daughter Becky getting engaged to a wonderful guy.  As I begin a new year and think about some things I would like to work on, I have added to the list a desire to keep this blog going.  It has been awhile since the last posting, but I think it would be worth keeping and a good way to build community among the Searchlight ladies -- and beyond! 

So, here's to fresh beginnings!  I hope you stop in, hopefully comment, and maybe even post too.  (It's easy, just let me know if you're interested).  An easy way to start is just to share something yourself.  How was your 2010?  And what are your hopes, plans, dreams, prayers, for 2011?

Peace,
Noreen   

"Kelly gone Wild on Spring Break"

When Noreen invited me to write here, she made one limit. NO "Kelly gone wild on Spring Break" photos. While I absolutely hate to be in any photo, let alone be actually caught on camera during one of my wild moments, the minute I am told I can't do something....then I want to do it!

Maybe some of you are like that too. Maybe it is something left over from Great great great great (etc) grandma Eve. That temptation toward forbidden fruit. Or maybe just maybe it is really just my own heart that I have to corral here. :)

So although my (sinful) nature wants to rebel and post those pictures, I will bow to the superior wisdom of Noreen. So now y'all can thank Noreen for saving your eyes. :) hehe And I will thank her for putting limits on me for my own good.

Self image struggles.

So who else out there struggles with self-image issues. I'm sure many do, but it's really easy to feel alone in that, right?

There's a delicate balance between wanting to be thinner, prettier, have less facial hair, arm hair, leg hair, thicker hair, straighter hair, curlier hair, be taller, shorter, less skinny, less fat and a turn towards self-loathing. Who are we if we can't look in our own mirrors and be happy with who we are? Who are we....we are human.

Fact is, we all know, deep down inside, that we are created in God's image and hating what we see in the mirror isn't right but it's so hard.

I struggle with weight, finding clothing that will hold up to spontaneous naps, clothing expenses, sensitivity to fragrances keeping me from smelling like a confident woman with pretty perfume, easy discomfort due to MS sensitivities leaving most jewelry out of the picture. It seems like a constant struggle.

There's also the struggle of eating what's good for me. It's not that I don't like those things. I can't be in a kitchen with the stovetop running due to the heat. I don't have the energy to prepare things. Fact is, pizza and Mountain Dew are my favorite. Easy prep and a little boost to get me to naptime. Ahhh...

So how is it that I can look at anyone, any size, shape, color, hairstyle and all that jazz and just see a person but when I look in the mirror I see so many flaws? How do we all learn to get past that and see ourselves as the beautiful person we are flaws and all?

Let's all get on the Stuart Smalley bandwagon: "I'm good enough; I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."

No I'm not chicken!

So I've been challenged, with a big "I Dare You" to contribute. Who could say "no!"? Pretty soon she'd pull out the triple dog dare and I'd be here anyway. I thought I'd just cut to the chase.

So here I am...but what to say.

A bit about me. I'm the one with the multiple sclerosis. I'll leave the "what is that?" to the medical community that knows it best. http://www.nationalmssociety.org/about-multiple-sclerosis/index.aspx

I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in November 2004. At the ripe age of 29 I got my handicapped parking tag/plate and a cane. I deal with daily fatigue, take a lot of naps, have balance problems, optic nerve damage that includes sensitivity to light (especially fluorescent lighting and any bright light) and occasional pain, heat sensitivity, lack of sensation in my right leg and varying sensation changes on the right side as well, cognitive problems, fragrance and sound sensitivities and so many other things that are a bit too embarrassing to discuss in a forum of this nature.

I'm currently on Novantrone (chemotherapy) after being given the diagnosis of secondary progressive multiple sclerosis rather than the original diagnosis of relapsing remitting MS. I get the privilege (rolls eyes) of living with a "chronic, debilitating, incurable disease."

It's part of everything I do every day. It's so often a feeling of being owned by MS and it's not a MonSter that people want to be leashed to.

For me, it also means owning more assistive devices than my own grandmother. It means missing things that I want to be a part of. It means going to bed every night not knowing what the next day will bring, not being able to plan, not even knowing from one minute to the next what is going to happen.

Initially it brought a lot of anxiety. It's scary going to bed at night not knowing if you will be able to walk the next day, be numb in parts of your body, have all your vision, etc.

I had to conquer my fear of needles because I had to give myself injections (insert "there's no way I can do this!" emoticon here).

Fact is, I was able to get through it and am able to get through it each day by giving myself over completely to the knowledge that all things happen for a reason. My own mantra that runs through my head when things are really tough is "There's a purpose for this; there's a purpose for this".

There's no heroism here. It's not always pretty (especially those days I don't get dressed), but it's the only life I've got. I can choose to be miserable and suffer through the same things or laugh about it and just deal, ya know?

There is a rest of me that hasn't been overrun by daily hassles of the MS.

I have been married 12 years.

I have a 7 (almost 8!) year old daughter.

I was a bowler and Young American Bowling Alliance certified bowling coach in a previous life.

I have a BA in English Language and Literature with an emphasis in creative writing and minors in Advertising/Public Relations and philosophy

I help moderate a forum for people with MS.

I have been selling on eBay since December 2000, both for myself and Searchlight (always looking for donations to help pay down our building fund debt).

I appreciate music with deep and moving lyrics.

I am grossly addicted to Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plumb books right now.

I created and update the Searchlight Ministries website.


See what you started, Noreen?!

Tricia Pell

Fall Women's Retreat

Last weekend about 18 Searchlight women had the privilege of attending a women's retreat at Camp Geneva. The weekend got off to a great start as God seemed to be smiling down on us from the very beginning.

Our cheery hostess, Amy, was on hand to eagerly help everyone get settled in.

That didn't last for too long however.

It didn't take long for many of the women to find themselves meeting at the water's edge.

Amy shared some thoughts to take with us for the evening. We also had time to work in some fellowship, and goodies.

And a late night bonfire. (Oh, they're there, you just can't see 'em.)

Saturday was the big day! After a good breakfast, Nancy (a long time mentor and friend to Amy) graciously led us a on meaningful and thought-provoking discussion on prayer.

Of course TALKING about prayer is meager compared to the real deal. So our afternoon time was devoted to spending time alone with God. (Isn't that really the best part of any retreat?)

Some women found a quiet place to "squirrel" away with God.

While others took off exploring God and his incredible creation.

While still others chose to take advantage of that awesome beach (complete with cross) .

Those less-naturey types could always get lost in an imaginary crowd.

And for those looking for a roof over their heads, there was the neighborhood giant teepee.

There was a more traditional, expected spot for communing with God, but that was off limits to us. We did use the back room for our meetings, but the main chapel was in use for concert practice by a group of college students.

I assumed they were college students. Who else would be crazy enough to jump into Lake Michigan in the middle of September?

Actually, there were many other people on the grounds that weekend. We found that out when we went for our meals.

And what good meals they were. Geneva knows how to put on a good feed. But even better than a retreat with good food is a retreat with good friends!

Good food! Good friends! And a beautiful setting!

What a wonderful retreat! And what a great way to experience God in a very awesome and personal way.